Someone expressed surprise to me the other day that I hadn't written about the whole iparty controversy. Well, in truth, I planned to. I began researching to write about the incident, and while doing so I couldn't help but run into scads of information on the Ronald McDonald House controversy. To be completely honest, the combination of these two stories made me so bitterly angry that I was having trouble stringing together coherant sentences.
But, some time later, here I am. I will write very little on this topic, because I feel that the very fact that breastfeeding only seems to make the news when someone is shamed for doing so does very little to encourage mothers to breastfeed. I would like this blog to be one of positive information, not defensive anger (albeit rightly so!).
It took a very long time before I was comfortable breastfeeding my baby in public. To be sure, the word "comfortable" still doesn't accurately describe how I feel when it becomes necessary to breastfeed in a public place. If my husband is with me, or if I am with a group of friends, I feel more comfortable than I would otherwise. But the entire action is one that makes me inherently nervous--I find myself surreptitiously looking around, making sure I'm getting no glances of disgust from passers-by. I feel a rush of adrenaline not entirely unlike the one Winona Ryder must have felt when she pocketed all that merchandise. Why do I, an educated, eloquent, fearless woman feel this way about doing something that is my and my child's right?
Well, that's simple. Because I've been made to feel like I should feel that way.
Whenever controversies of this type come out, the web is clogged with "epolls" and such asking if women should be "allowed" (don't get me started on the semantics of that word choice) to breastfeed in public. The answers tend to be all over the board, with more than a few stating that, "if they do so discreetly", they should be "allowed" to breastfeed.
"Discreetly".
Whenever someone speaks to me aloud about breastfeeding women and how some are "not" "discreet", I am distracted by the large, flashing letters spelling out "A-S-S-H-O-L-E" that appear over his or her head. Seriously--have you ever seen a woman who needs to breastfeed and does a striptease? Or maybe flings her breast in circles like a lasso? Or yells out, "MY BOOB IS TOTALLY EXPOSED AND I AM TOTALLY FEEDING MY BABY SO PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT ALL THE SUCCULENT BOOBAGE THAT IS CURRENTLY EXPOSED, OK?"
I thought not.
When I hear the word "discreetly" used in this manner, the subtext I hear loud and clear is: as long as I don't have to know it is happening. It reminds me of people who say things like "It's fine that he's gay, but I don't want to have to look at it/hear about it."
This all brings about the discussion everyone is having on their blogs: Why do people find breasts offensive or disgusting when they are being used for their very purpose? Why is it that a breast on the cover of Maxim at the checkout stand not an issue, while a woman trying to be "discreet" but still unable to prevent a half-moon of pale flesh from being exposed while feeding her hungry infant IS?
The answer is a complicated one that delves into American society and patriarchy and our culture of women as a good to be consumed...one that I don't have the time or patience to answer today. But I will say this--the aforementioned Ronald Mcdonald House controversy involved a woman feeding her infant WHO HAS A BRAIN TUMOR in a public area of the House and being asked to leave because a man in the same area was "uncomfortable". In this way, she was made responsible for his level of comfort or discomfort. She was acting "inappropriately", and the poor widdle MAN who can't control himself just had to act, which in this case meant asking to have her removed. As disconcerting as it may be, this somewhat resembles the defense you'll hear in many rape trials--that He Can't Control Himself. That She Should Act More Appropriately. How absurd to denigrate this fellow by attempting to "remove" the problem, and thus implying that he is unable to look away if he does not wish to look towards. When will our society stop limiting both men and women in this way?
More importantly, when will people begin to accept that the bodily needs of a small child trump the "fragile sensiblities" of any adult who has the neck strength to LOOK AWAY already?
It seems that we still have a very long way to go. In the U.S. in 2004, 70% of babies were breastfed at some point. By 6 months of age (the age until which the APA recommends exclusive breastfeeding), only 36% were still being breastfed. I'm sure the imagined inability to breastfeed in public without repercussion is partially responsible for this gap.
Personally, I have no plan to breastfeed in public either more or less frequently in light of these recent occurrences. I'll keep on going as if they had never been brought before me. But I'm always ready with my retorts in case someone ever does approach me.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Need Plans for This Weekend?
The Boston area is supposed to be rainy and miserable this weekend. Suckage! But that's Ok, you have fabulous rainy day plans. Don't you?
In case you don't, let me be the first to inform you that the Institute of Contemporary Art holds a Free Family Day the last Saturday of every month. Free admission for up to 2 adults, plus as many kids under 12 as you can squeeze into your chosen mode of transport.
The husband and I went to Free Family Day last month, and I must say it was absolutely fantastic. There are a multitude of activities scheduled for kids, plus leaflets to help you help your kids to appreciate art. For the stroller set (mememe!), there are smooth floors and wide corridors between art installations. I'm happy to say there were very few places we couldn't take The Bug.
What Did The Bug Think?
He absolutely loved it! I had never seen him enjoy himself so much in a public place. We were there for almost six hours, and he spent the majority of that time babbling happily at the bright colors and wealth of other eye candy from his stroller.
Where Can I Change My Baby?
The ladies' room on the first floor, with doors both next to the cafeteria and around the corner from the entrance, has a changing table in the handicapped stall. It's not an optimal changing spot, but it gets the job done. There is room for a stroller in the stall, as well.
Where Can I Breastfeed?
As always, my first answer is Wherever the hell you want to! But a spot I found to be ideal for this activity is located on the third floor (I believe?), around the corner from the Super Vision exhibition--a long, lovely solarium-type enclosure looking out over the harbor. In this area you'll find restrooms, water fountains, and benches lining the wall, all facing the water so you can watch the sailboats while you tank your little one up. I think this spot may make it to my Top Ten Favorite Spots to Breastfeed.
So, give it a whirl if you don't already have plans. You may just see me there!
In case you don't, let me be the first to inform you that the Institute of Contemporary Art holds a Free Family Day the last Saturday of every month. Free admission for up to 2 adults, plus as many kids under 12 as you can squeeze into your chosen mode of transport.
The husband and I went to Free Family Day last month, and I must say it was absolutely fantastic. There are a multitude of activities scheduled for kids, plus leaflets to help you help your kids to appreciate art. For the stroller set (mememe!), there are smooth floors and wide corridors between art installations. I'm happy to say there were very few places we couldn't take The Bug.
What Did The Bug Think?
He absolutely loved it! I had never seen him enjoy himself so much in a public place. We were there for almost six hours, and he spent the majority of that time babbling happily at the bright colors and wealth of other eye candy from his stroller.
Where Can I Change My Baby?
The ladies' room on the first floor, with doors both next to the cafeteria and around the corner from the entrance, has a changing table in the handicapped stall. It's not an optimal changing spot, but it gets the job done. There is room for a stroller in the stall, as well.
Where Can I Breastfeed?
As always, my first answer is Wherever the hell you want to! But a spot I found to be ideal for this activity is located on the third floor (I believe?), around the corner from the Super Vision exhibition--a long, lovely solarium-type enclosure looking out over the harbor. In this area you'll find restrooms, water fountains, and benches lining the wall, all facing the water so you can watch the sailboats while you tank your little one up. I think this spot may make it to my Top Ten Favorite Spots to Breastfeed.
So, give it a whirl if you don't already have plans. You may just see me there!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
I'm Always the Last to Know
Ok, I must preface this by stating that I know everyone who either (A.) has a child, or (B.) doesn't has probably figured this out already, but still...
Did you know that you can put the playmat/gymini generally used in the living room in the kitchen?!? And that, by doing so, you may just buy yourself some valuable time you could use for, say, making Cocoa Coconut Rice Crispie Treats?!?
Because, the thing is, you can! And you might!
Just be sure that your cooking (and stepping!) areas are far enough away from the baby that wayward knives won't disembowel him, or wayward feet stomp his ribs, and you're golden.
Cocoa Coconut Rice Crispie Treats are a galactagogue for sure!
Did you know that you can put the playmat/gymini generally used in the living room in the kitchen?!? And that, by doing so, you may just buy yourself some valuable time you could use for, say, making Cocoa Coconut Rice Crispie Treats?!?
Because, the thing is, you can! And you might!
Just be sure that your cooking (and stepping!) areas are far enough away from the baby that wayward knives won't disembowel him, or wayward feet stomp his ribs, and you're golden.
Cocoa Coconut Rice Crispie Treats are a galactagogue for sure!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Poop, or Lack Thereof
One of The Bug's newest tricks is Not Pooping. He has been performing this trick for several days at a stretch, and it tends to be accompanied by grunting and some seeming general malaise. So what gives? Is he constipated? Is this normal? Did you ever imagine you'd want your baby to poop?
Apparently, not only is this normal, but it's common among breastfed babies. According to pediatricians, a breastfed baby could go as long as 2 weeks wiithout pooping before there's any need for concern. That's 2 weeks. Fourteen days. Three hundred thirty-six hours. But really, who's counting? (ME! I am counting!) As long as the poop that eventually (you know, after 2 weeks?) emerges isn't thicker than peanut butter (comparison invited), your baby was not in any way constipated.
The Bug used to poop faithfully every morning. I would put certain diapers on him until he had pooped--the kind that tended to not blow out. We'd hang out at home until The Poop had occurred, lest we be somewhere like (gasp!) Target when he let fly. This system worked for us. Of course, now there's a great big giant non-pooping monkey wrench thrown into the works. If you can't predict when or if your baby will poop, how can you be sure to be in a convenient place?
You can't. So you pack an extra outfit or 2 when you're out and about, and make sure to check your diaper bag's wipe case before leaving the safety of your home. You don't want to be one of those Unprepared Moms who have to beg for a "square to spare". And relax, have fun, and enjoy your brief reprieve from Poopy Diaperland. A friend of mine in a similar poopless situation decided to start a pool on when the poop would finally happen. This is an excellent way to make income in your spare time!
Apparently, not only is this normal, but it's common among breastfed babies. According to pediatricians, a breastfed baby could go as long as 2 weeks wiithout pooping before there's any need for concern. That's 2 weeks. Fourteen days. Three hundred thirty-six hours. But really, who's counting? (ME! I am counting!) As long as the poop that eventually (you know, after 2 weeks?) emerges isn't thicker than peanut butter (comparison invited), your baby was not in any way constipated.
The Bug used to poop faithfully every morning. I would put certain diapers on him until he had pooped--the kind that tended to not blow out. We'd hang out at home until The Poop had occurred, lest we be somewhere like (gasp!) Target when he let fly. This system worked for us. Of course, now there's a great big giant non-pooping monkey wrench thrown into the works. If you can't predict when or if your baby will poop, how can you be sure to be in a convenient place?
You can't. So you pack an extra outfit or 2 when you're out and about, and make sure to check your diaper bag's wipe case before leaving the safety of your home. You don't want to be one of those Unprepared Moms who have to beg for a "square to spare". And relax, have fun, and enjoy your brief reprieve from Poopy Diaperland. A friend of mine in a similar poopless situation decided to start a pool on when the poop would finally happen. This is an excellent way to make income in your spare time!
Monday, April 23, 2007
Starting Solids--When to Make That Leap?
As their babies' age creeps closer and closer to that magical 6-month mark, moms' thoughts turn to solids. When is the right time to start solids? Should we wait or start now? Will it help my baby sleep through the night? And what does the pediatrician say about all this, anyway?
Well, patience, my pet. We'll address all those concerns in this post--starting with the latter. What does your pediatrician think, anyhow? And should you care?
Of course, I have no earthly idea what your pediatrician thinks. What I do know is my own personal approach to medical professionals--which is that, by and large, they are a valuable resource to use when making decisions regarding your health and that of your family. In other words, while you should consult your pediatrician regarding decisions such as this, please remember that he or she is not necessarily any more informed about certain issues than the well-educated parent is likely to be. There are scads of (medical) journal articles every month--your pediatrician is not necessarily reading the ones most pertinent to your situation (that's your job!). So, consult your pediatrician, but do your own research.
That's what I did. At The Bug's 4-month appointment, my pediatrician brought up the topic of solids. I explained that I was still exclusively breastfeeding The Bug, and had no plan to start solids yet. She seemed to find this agreeable, but then added that The Bug fit two of the situations in which starting solids early is recommended--he is on the big side of the height/weight spectrum, and he still wakes in the night to feed (several times a night, I might add). The third situation was a seeming desire to eat--watching intently as you eat, trying to take food off your plate, etc.
By now, The Bug meets all three criteria (as of Saturday, he had tried to swipe both chicken nuggets and pancakes from my plate). This begs the question, why am I not starting solids yet? Well, let's look at my pediatrician's criteria for starting solids.
First, her claim that "bigger" babies should be started on solids earlier. I happened to mention this to a friend who has a child on the small end of the spectrum, and she indicated that her own pediatrition had recommended starting solids early for this reason. Now, if either lunatic fringe variety of baby's parents are told to start solids early, the conclusion I'm going to jump to is that the pediatricians do so because they believe that these babies' nutritional needs are no longer being satisfied by breastmilk alone. Does this make sense? Well, in a word, no. The fact is that breastmilk has both a higher caloric content and a higher nutrient content than any cereal, fortified or no. Not only that, but breastmilk is more easily digested, meaning that it won't sit in gut and give baby a false illusion of fullness like cereal can do. It seems to me that a better suggestion in either of these cases would be to breastfeed more frequently and to be sure that one's own diet isn't lacking in nutrition.
Now, about the implication that solids could affect the waking in the night to feed situation--I'll admit, this part made my ears perk up a bit. Could starting solids help The Bug sleep for longer stretches at night, maybe even helping me to eliminate a feeding or two? Not according to a study performed by the Cleveland Clinic Department of Pediatrics. Researchers found no difference between a group of infants between 5 weeks and 4 months of age who were given rice cereal in a bottle at night and those who were not. Admittedly, the practice of including cereal in a bottle is silly and archaic, not to mention not really the topic at hand in the first place! But whether in a bottle or a spoon, cereal is cereal is cereal--and in this case, cereal was not found to affect sleep one way or the other. Sigh.
The third situation, otherwise known as the one that got me to actually go out and purchase spoons for The Bug, is that babies who are trying to get to table food are ready for solids. Now, to a point I can see this being the case. However, it should be noted that I have observed The Bug trying to jam the following things in his mouth: my nose, my hair, a dirty diaper, the hoof of a stuffed donkey, and the dog. None of these seem to be appropriate foodstuffs, and never did I see him try to shove any of those things in his mouth and think "Gee, it must be time to start solids." This leads me to think that the logic behind a baby's readiness for solids being determined by his eagerness to shove things into his mouth is, well, a bit flawed at best. Furthermore, I'm not sure that the physical and emotional readiness for anything should be determined by interest alone. I mean geeze, didn't ya'll check out the condom shelf surreptitiously before you actually got down to business for the first time?
It comes down to this--study after study seems to indicate that 6 months is the earliest age that BREASTFED babies should have solids introduced to their diets. Formula-fed babies may have different nutritional needs, but I haven't researched this enough to comment either way. And furthermore, since breastfeeding until 7 months of age is associated with an increased IQ later in life, you certainly don't want to do anything to jeopordize your milk supply at this point! (An emphasis on solids too early can cause a drop in milk supply, which may lead to premature weaning.) So, I'm going to make a case for waiting on that cereal.
After all, once you start, your baby will be eating solids for the rest of his life. But he will never rely only on you for nourishment again. It's a precious time! Hold on to it!
But I'm not getting rid of the spoons. No harm in getting him used to them. Maybe I'll put some expressed milk in a bowl and spoon-feed that to him? I've seen that suggested.
Well, patience, my pet. We'll address all those concerns in this post--starting with the latter. What does your pediatrician think, anyhow? And should you care?
Of course, I have no earthly idea what your pediatrician thinks. What I do know is my own personal approach to medical professionals--which is that, by and large, they are a valuable resource to use when making decisions regarding your health and that of your family. In other words, while you should consult your pediatrician regarding decisions such as this, please remember that he or she is not necessarily any more informed about certain issues than the well-educated parent is likely to be. There are scads of (medical) journal articles every month--your pediatrician is not necessarily reading the ones most pertinent to your situation (that's your job!). So, consult your pediatrician, but do your own research.
That's what I did. At The Bug's 4-month appointment, my pediatrician brought up the topic of solids. I explained that I was still exclusively breastfeeding The Bug, and had no plan to start solids yet. She seemed to find this agreeable, but then added that The Bug fit two of the situations in which starting solids early is recommended--he is on the big side of the height/weight spectrum, and he still wakes in the night to feed (several times a night, I might add). The third situation was a seeming desire to eat--watching intently as you eat, trying to take food off your plate, etc.
By now, The Bug meets all three criteria (as of Saturday, he had tried to swipe both chicken nuggets and pancakes from my plate). This begs the question, why am I not starting solids yet? Well, let's look at my pediatrician's criteria for starting solids.
First, her claim that "bigger" babies should be started on solids earlier. I happened to mention this to a friend who has a child on the small end of the spectrum, and she indicated that her own pediatrition had recommended starting solids early for this reason. Now, if either lunatic fringe variety of baby's parents are told to start solids early, the conclusion I'm going to jump to is that the pediatricians do so because they believe that these babies' nutritional needs are no longer being satisfied by breastmilk alone. Does this make sense? Well, in a word, no. The fact is that breastmilk has both a higher caloric content and a higher nutrient content than any cereal, fortified or no. Not only that, but breastmilk is more easily digested, meaning that it won't sit in gut and give baby a false illusion of fullness like cereal can do. It seems to me that a better suggestion in either of these cases would be to breastfeed more frequently and to be sure that one's own diet isn't lacking in nutrition.
Now, about the implication that solids could affect the waking in the night to feed situation--I'll admit, this part made my ears perk up a bit. Could starting solids help The Bug sleep for longer stretches at night, maybe even helping me to eliminate a feeding or two? Not according to a study performed by the Cleveland Clinic Department of Pediatrics. Researchers found no difference between a group of infants between 5 weeks and 4 months of age who were given rice cereal in a bottle at night and those who were not. Admittedly, the practice of including cereal in a bottle is silly and archaic, not to mention not really the topic at hand in the first place! But whether in a bottle or a spoon, cereal is cereal is cereal--and in this case, cereal was not found to affect sleep one way or the other. Sigh.
The third situation, otherwise known as the one that got me to actually go out and purchase spoons for The Bug, is that babies who are trying to get to table food are ready for solids. Now, to a point I can see this being the case. However, it should be noted that I have observed The Bug trying to jam the following things in his mouth: my nose, my hair, a dirty diaper, the hoof of a stuffed donkey, and the dog. None of these seem to be appropriate foodstuffs, and never did I see him try to shove any of those things in his mouth and think "Gee, it must be time to start solids." This leads me to think that the logic behind a baby's readiness for solids being determined by his eagerness to shove things into his mouth is, well, a bit flawed at best. Furthermore, I'm not sure that the physical and emotional readiness for anything should be determined by interest alone. I mean geeze, didn't ya'll check out the condom shelf surreptitiously before you actually got down to business for the first time?
It comes down to this--study after study seems to indicate that 6 months is the earliest age that BREASTFED babies should have solids introduced to their diets. Formula-fed babies may have different nutritional needs, but I haven't researched this enough to comment either way. And furthermore, since breastfeeding until 7 months of age is associated with an increased IQ later in life, you certainly don't want to do anything to jeopordize your milk supply at this point! (An emphasis on solids too early can cause a drop in milk supply, which may lead to premature weaning.) So, I'm going to make a case for waiting on that cereal.
After all, once you start, your baby will be eating solids for the rest of his life. But he will never rely only on you for nourishment again. It's a precious time! Hold on to it!
But I'm not getting rid of the spoons. No harm in getting him used to them. Maybe I'll put some expressed milk in a bowl and spoon-feed that to him? I've seen that suggested.
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